The Voices in Your Head and How to Listen to Them

No, not the ones that you're thinking of.... I'm talking about the voices that guide us. Your INNER voice. Your EMOTIONAL voice. Your LOGICAL voice. Your PROTECTOR voice. We have so many guiding us... How do you know which one to listen to?

I had my own coaching session today (I can't very well coach you if I don't sit in your shoes!) and the question I am wrestling with is one where many voices are speaking to me. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, the loudest one thus far has been that inner-critic. The one telling me things are my fault, I should have... could have... If I had done this, said that... you know how that dialogue goes. And this issue has lived in my head rent free for over a month now. Now my husband's real voice is telling me I'm overthinking it and I need to let it go (listen, this isn't Frozen and I can't just LET IT GO) Especially when it dredges up other past issues and past voices that also aren't pleasant. My emotional voice is strong (as most empath individuals tend to have) and when asked what my "logical" voice is telling me, it was like a punch in the gut. I KNOW I am not at fault, I KNOW whatever triggered the reaction this person had was on THEM. So why is it so hard to believe it could be right? What if it's NOT my fault and what if there ISN'T anything more I could have said or done because what I have control over is not the reactions of others ONLY MYSELF. (Thank you Mel Robbins/Let Them Theory).

Sitting with that - the fact that someone is upset and they're upset at you, but you don't know why, and you realllllly want to know why - is HARD. It's hard because so many of us have been hardwired to just apologize, don't make a scene, "let it go" and move on.... Is anyone here part of the "sweep it under the rug" generation? Yep. I probably have a Master's degree in it. My dad would literally explode about something. One minute we're all fine, the next you're doing everything you can to get out of his way - no one ever knew what would set him off, but all hell would break loose. A couple of days would pass and then poof! all good. Like nothing ever happened. We were always on eggshells. Our inner voices kept us quiet and obedient and apologetic and invisible.

As I learned to reprogram my inner voices, and listen to more external sources, I leared how to trust and love myself enough to know I was not responsible for his mood swings. I was not responsible for their marriage problems. I was not responsible their bad decisions, how they parented, or spent their money.

My coach today reminded me of so many more voices I have now - my voice of compassion, my voice of boundaries, my voice of self-advocacy. I'm still learning which ones to trust. Some days my logical voice wins, other days my protector voice takes over, and sometimes that inner critic still gets the loudest microphone. I think that's okay. Maybe the question isn't which voice to silence, but which one serves me in this moment. Maybe the goal isn't to have one clear, decisive voice, but to recognize them all and choose consciously - even when that choice feels messy and uncertain.

#innervoices #innercritic #selfcompassion #coachesgetcoached #messynotlinear #mentalwellness #selfcare #authenticity

Maybe the question isn't which voice to silence, but which one serves me in this moment.